Movie Review: Avengers Age of Ultron

STAR STAR STAR 3/4

The Pitch Review

WRITER: Crap. Dammit, Director, I thought we were all coming to the meeting in our Avenger costumes...what the f&$%, dude?!

DIRECTOR:  Ha ha ha! Welcome, Captain America!  You look great in that, by the way. Where's your shield?

PRODUCERS: Focus, guys. So where were we before Captain America graced us with his presence? How does that work again? 

DIRECTOR: (Exasperated sigh) It goes like this. You can tell that everything is cool when the good guys are running around like crazy, but never get out of breath. 

WRITER: Right?! And then the bad guys are hardly moving but they're totally out of breath! 

DIRECTOR: Exactly. But that is not the point at all. The point is… Graphics! Fight sequences! Just expect the credits to scroll pages and pages because we're going heavy on AWESOME graphics. I mean, think of the audience! 

WRITER: You should animate the hell out of Ultron - James Spader, huh? 

He'll be great. And I'm making Hulk extra smashy, and the characters extra Avengy. It's awesome.

PRODUCERS: We'll give them what they want, and exactly what they expect! Tons & lots of it. And then we'll throw in some more for good measure. 

WRITER: Of course, so I'll just run with the usual plot line - love story...solid one liners...

PRODUCER: Let's please catch them off-guard with some of those one-liners this time, will you? I think we can stand to make them laugh a bit. Don't you?

DIRECTOR: Then let's open with a shot of our Captain America here. Dude, come here so I can get that wedgie out of your butt.

WRITER: Shut up, Director...