Homesick

Beach I grew up at. Miss it so terribly it hurts...

Thanks for sharing the photos, sister. 

Boy, I wanna go home...

Appropriate place for this song to be stuck in my head today...

Assume the Armageddon Position, please

Okay. So I've been giving it a lot of thought, and have come to a conclusion. It seems that when the sh** is gonna go down, you've gotta assume the position. "What position would that be," you ask yourself. I shall tell you.

Just do it.

 Look at all this evidence of the awesome power of kneeling!

 (Okay, maybe Iron Man a little less. But come on. Still...)

 Awww, yeah. There it is. One of my favorites.

 Even this guy. That's hard-core awesomeness down on its knees!

So. Down. 

Down on your knees. 

Low center of gravity, looks super cool, and might be the only thing

keeping you from an embarrassing death.

You've been warned.

(DA DA DUUUUUUUUM)

(hahahahahaha!)

And I love you. :)

Belated, but sincere wishes

Love you dads! Now go play. :)

Play quasi-review: Melancholy Play: a chamber musical

STAR STAR STAR STAR STAR

Hands-down The funniest play I've seen in a long, long time. Maybe it had something to do with my expectation of a drama, but I laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed. The acting was fantastic. (Seriously, though, with the Trinity resident cast, you can't go wrong.). But those guys NAILED it. Hahahaha! So funny. Just thinking about it cracks me up. 

(Another funny aspect of the play is sitting in the company of a confused audience. It's like they weren't sure if it was supposed to be funny. The awkward tension was heaven! Oh, man...that was awesome. 5 stars. Can I gush any more about it? Yes. But I won't. )

Paintings1&2

Painting2

The lighting is all wrong, but you get the idea. I will reshoot the photo in morning light.

Color pallet

This is one of my favorite parts about finishing a painting. I just adore seeing the color palette!

And honestly, often times I prefer it to the piece itself. Hahaha!

Good morning!

*Sigh*

This is how I feel this morning. It's AWESOME! I'll take it! 

:)

I'll think about it...

Dear sexy hermit crab (ahem, Anna),

I am hesitant to re-post it. The weekend is over. But I'll think of sharing the photos again. Oooh! And I'll share the painting when it's done - which I'm still working on. Don't get your panties in a bunch.

love,

me

p.s. why is that so embarrassing! that code name feels like a lot to live up to.

p.p.s. I'd rather take home a sexy hermit crab. That's the best code name EVER.

Hm. Will have to check this out!

I wanna check this out! Neat!

(It's all 6 Star Wars movies at the same time.)

Geez. I made it to 3 minutes. It reminds me of a nightmare...
stopping immediately

Movie Review: Jurrasic World

STAR STAR STAR STAR

The Pitch Review

CHRIS: Hell yeah! This is fun stuff! I'm so your guy for this! Dinosaurs?! WOOHOO!

PRODUCER: I think it's time we did this story again. Audiences are craving that good 'ol nostalgia of back in the day. Man I loved those dinosaurs! And it's such a big story!
DIRECTOR: A little Romancing the Stone might work in this, too.

BRYCE: Oh...okay...What if I don't have chemistry with the male lead? Who is it? Chris Pratt?
CHRIS: Ha! You must be joking. Everyone has chemistry with me.

PRODUCER: Well, the magnitude of the story will cover for anything your acting might lack, sweetheart.

DIRECTOR: It's gonna be like a roller coaster...click click click click click click...then SWOOSH take them on the ride they're dying to go on!
CHRIS: Yeah. I like it! Ha! I love how you set it up to seem like it's for the kids, and then BAM! It's not for little kids at all! Awesome! Those dinos are so freakin' cool! I can't wait to see them!

PRODUCER: You know, eventually, it's gonna be a theme park for real.
DIRECTOR: Oh, man, this movie is gonna be so entertaining. We'll hit 'em hard with the dinosaur action. I'm not letting the audience leave without getting their solid dinosaur fix.
CHRIS: Hold on. Wait a minute. First of all, say "dinosaur" one more time. And secondly, seriously? Did she just doubt my animal attraction? Sh**. Even the freakin' dinosaurs have chemistry with me. 

Yeah! Use it. Put it in the story! But nothin' freaky. I ain't doin' no dinosaurs. Wait, is that in the script? Okay. I'll do it. CGI a hot one, though.

SPIELBERG: Shut up, Chris.

Movie Review: Enemy (2014)

STAR STAR 1/2

The Pitch Review 

PRODUCER: I have the perfect guy for the music. We met at a Jaws & Jerry convention.
DIRECTOR: [flat & monotone] Jaws & Jerry?

WRITER: You know, "dah dum...dah dum..." And Tom & Jerry. The cartoon. But this script, it's not supposed to be funny. It's supposed to be very serious. And dramatic. About loneliness and the search for intimacy.

DIRECTOR: Okay, then, let's wash out all the color to make it kind of depressing and heavy.

PRODUCER: We should do the whole movie in beige.

DIRECTOR: Perfect. Beige. I want to make the most "beige" movie of all time.
JAKE: Right! But we can't rely on "me" the whole time. I mean, I'm good and all, but something has to happen in this movie other than "beige" and overly-dramatic misplaced music.

PRODUCER: Like what? Eggshell white? Go crazy & throw in gray? 

An odd, abrupt ending?
DIRECTOR: Shut up, Jake.
JAKE: I didn't say it. You shut up.

Watch it with me!

Got too tired to finish painting #2 in the series, so thought I'd give this a shot. Watch it with me! Well (yawn) some of it...

Exit Through the Gift Shop: A Banksy Film

Got too tired to finish

Movie Review: The Last Seven

STAR STAR

The Pitch Review

[all in British accents]
DIRECTOR: GOOOOOOOAAALLLL! Pay up, Writer!
WRITER: Absolutely not. You owe me a pound. Don't you ever worry about these massive crowds? "Mob mentality" and all? People can be dangerous - especially if football is their religion - and lots of people more-so.
DIRECTOR: I think the complete absence of people would be more frightening. Goodness me, that would make a fantastic movie. End of the world stuff.
PRODUCER: Indeed it would. And to top it all, we won't have to pay any extras.

DIRECTOR: None?
PRODUCER: Not a single one. Well, maybe a couple, sparingly. And we'll cast those theater actors from that local theater you love, and -

DIRECTOR:  Film it like that movie you worship...[snapping with one hand repeatedly]
WRITER: Memento?
DIRECTOR: [Punching Writer on the shoulder] That's the one. I can see it now, and imagine the sound will be reminiscent of nails on a chalkboard - sustained.
PRODUCER: So it'll all be filmed between 4 and 5am, before anyone is up. Clearing the streets will be a nightmare.

DIRECTOR: Not as big a nightmare as -
PRODUCER: GOOOOOOOAAAALLLLLL! [Gripping Director's thigh].
DIRECTOR: [Slapping Producer's hand off thigh] Shut up, Producer.

Movie Non-review: The Human Centipede 3

STAR*

Basically, over-the-top.
Remember the movie Annie? The original one, I mean? It had a feel like that. Well, the color pallet.

And it had an exaggerated, somewhat ridiculously cruel porn-like feel, almost comedic (think cutting someone open & raping them in the kidney). Waaaaaay too much talk/yelling. Or yell/talking lines. Not as scary & intimate as the 1st two. In this one, there's a comedic side-kick - kind of. Think about that, people. Comedy in a Human Centipede movie. Weird...But still gross. The 1st 2 of the series? Those were more...accessible (scary) than crazy-nuts. The primary concern of the evil-doers is to save money, and avoid getting fired (cheeky political commentary on the American prison system? you bet).

This one, I wouldn't be surprised if they burst into song. Hey! I smell Broadway musical! Tony, anyone?! Maybe just a toy for the kids.

But horribly offensive, disgusting, and yucky.

Movie Review: The Gambler

STAR STAR STAR STAR

The Pitch Review

MARK: Great story, man. I'm gonna get all skinny for this part.

DIRECTOR: Nothing reads crazy like skinny, so that'll work.
MARK: There's some intense stuff in here, man. What, where you a gambler?
WRITER: Me? Nah.
MARK: An alcoholic?

WRITER: No.
MARK: A drug addict?

WRITER: No.
DIRECTOR: I have an idea about using the sound in the story. You know, really incorporate the music into the scenes so it's more than background music, and be particular about the mood it sets.
MARK: A sex addict?

WRITER: Shut up, Mark.

bracing self...& cringing

Uh oh:
1. I rented a couple of movies,
2. Still owe a review on Spy (review spoiler: I loved it. Hilarious. 4.25 stars),
3. And just found out that Human Centipede 3 is available for viewing online. I have to know what happens...(resigned sigh).

Like I said. F***. I mean uh oh.

So that's happening tonight. I think I'll lube my neuro-synapters* with some delicious beverage of choice to make swallowing the 3rd closure-movie a tad easier.

Oh god. Wait a second...I presumed it'd end with this 3rd one....

WHAT IF THERE'S A 4TH?!?!?!

*not a thing, obviously

See the cloud break?

I think that's when it got cold & time to leave...

I love the feel of the soft warm breeze and hot sun on my tummy. :)

Quasi-Ferris Bueller work day, anyone?

I heard a song* - slightly annoying, but still kind of fun - and it got me to thinking.
Why the hell not?!
 (You don't need to know the underlying premise, or the embarrassing song I allowed myself to rock-out to - just the conclusion [I know you're all busy with...whatever you're busy doing, so I'll get to the point. Hmm. Now I can't help but wonder what you're doing?! Silly...].)

But what if your day turns into a Ferris-Bueller-work-day-extravaganza?! Well, folks, that's my plan for the day. A quasi-Bueller-work day, anyway. One must be productive, after all.

(That's so me in the shower!!!)

And Let's bring it home with a movie tonight, shall we? Yes. Yes we will. :)

*I've been experiencing a music-drought in solidarity with my Californian people, but let's all admit  music-dehydration is more difficult to endure than a water drought. Here's my plant mascot:

Movie Review: The Last Stand (2015)

STAR STAR STAR 1/2

The Pitch Review

ARNOLD: Precisely. Like zih A-Teahm. Iht waaahs a ghrrate show.
DIRECTOR: The music? Or the characters? Or the story?

ARNOLD: Ahll of iht.  Modernized, uhv couhrse.
MUSIC (& sound) GUY: Hell, yeah, man.  I love Murdock! That crazy sun-uv-a-bitch. I'm gonna sneak the music in real good, and ride the cochlear nerve like a cowboy dancing with Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.
ARNOLD: Vuht the f***, guy?
DIRECTOR: Him? He's good. He can set the tone without it owning you. Ignore him, though.
PRODUCER: So this will be fun. A modernized, bloody, gory, movie-length A-Team with Arnold. Yeah, it can work.
MUSIC GUY: I don't know if I buy Arnold as Murdock.

ARNOLD: Ahhm noht Murhdohk, foohl. Ahhm Haaahnibahl. You knowh. "Ahh luvh iht wehn a plahn comes togehther."

MUSIC GUY: More like "Aahhh aint gehtin ohn noh airplaine," no?

ARNOLD: Shuht uhp...or you're dehd.