For the ladies only (skip it if you're a guy)

W...T...F...
Is it me? Okay, probably it is. But we need to put a stop to this. It's gotten out of control. I mean, I'm a hot-blooded female like the rest of you - and who doesn't want to be pushed up against the wall & properly kissed...but ENOUGH. Seriously.

I'm talking about that expectation for a guy to pick you up and f&#! you against the wall.  Face to face.

NO.  Stop it.

First of all, it's an awkward angle. Logistically, it's impractical. Even if you're picked up. (And really That guy has to be The Rock, or you have to weigh less than a small tiger for that to be...I don't know...comfortable? Trust me. It's not. [No, I'm not petite, though, so there's the hole in my rant. Hahaha! "Hole." But I digress.) It's not hot, to say the least.

Look at this guy. He looks like he's about to drop her. I feel kind of bad for him - it's clearly an awkward photo shoot. Lame.

This one's about to pull a neck muscle. That doesn't turn me on. That's the bad kind of "tension."

Secondly...oh, F-it. You know...I'm so annoyed with this sad perpetuation of failed expectations that I can't even bother with a "secondly." For the love of god, let him put you on a surface. Or kiss up against the wall, and have the decency to spin around and get your pleasure from behind. Like a self-respecting...person/lover/(fill in the blank)_________. Really. Let everyone enjoy the moment, you over-Lifetime-faux-porno-pertuated-myth selfish bitch.
(I'm not talking to you, of course. I'm talking to the "others." You, I love. :) )

Mas vino, por favor!!!  The night is young! :)

THAT's what I'm afraid of...

They attack UP, you know. To answer your question. 

Surfboard, meet snow. :)

Sand...snow...whatever! Surfboard doesn't care, and neither do I! WOOHOO!

My first time surfing with snow on the ground. Epic session! Perfect waves (shoulder high, just enough oomph to get a rush from the drop & speed, and I was all alone out there!) (well, that last part cut it short because I start feeling like delicious shark bait after a while, but that's just me...)

Lovely view. 

Ice on the rocks, people. ICE ON THE ROCKS. It's COLD.

(Hahahaha! "I'll have an 'Ice On the Rocks.' It does sound like a drink! I think that's my new favorite drink, then!) :)

Ralphie May makes me laugh.

I yelled "TACOS" to Ralphie May tonight. 

It's not all that random, though. It was in response to a question. Really, it made sense! And gave him the shivers! Funny. He's hilarious. Excellent performance. 5 Stars. I laughed & laughed. 

 Perfect way to end a really sad, tough, appetite-destroying day. After the show, I just feel like this:

Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd

It's one of those songs one can mindlessly & numbly (for lack of a more perfect word) sing in the car ride home. Tilt your head back, relax your shoulders, and let it roll off your breath. And it leads me to wonder whether Yoko ever got sick of hearing John Lennon sing in the car. Or the bath. Nah. Probably not.

Double Dog Dare Done. Here's the piece, sister. TWICE.

VOILA.

So there's the piece. Beethoven. Moonlight Sonata.

Too fast, I know. Mistakes & all. I don't settle down until the end. If you can make it to then (ha!).

Picky...picky! Here it is slower this time. Sheesh.

Having the recorder on is like having someone standing right over my shoulder, you know. Makes me nervous as heck!

The Sonata (slowly this time)

Movie Review: Fifty Shades of Grey

STAR 1/2

The Pitch Review

PRODUCER: Basically, it's like if 9 1/2 Weeks and Pretty Woman had a baby, this would be it. Not too ambitious, no, I don't think so. They're already vested! They've read the book -

DIRECTOR: Actually, it's three books -

PRODUCER: Whatever. Even more so, then. We want the theater so full of women that they'll need a full crew working overtime to mop up the snail trail leaving the theater.

WRITER: So if they've all read the book, I won't have to work that hard! 

DIRECTOR: Nope! Keep it simple. The characters will have to be comfortable with each other. In a kinky way. With some semi-hot sex scenes. But with her naked most of the time. Who cares if all of the delivery is flat, lifeless, and monotone?

PRODUCER: True. Well, it's really just a movie about foreplay. THAT'S why women will like it. 

Well, that, and they all probably have SOMEONE in their lives they'd like to do those scenes with...(I know I do!)

DIRECTOR: So lots of nudity. I like it! 

WRITER: I'm just gonna have the female nag and nag at him, and spend the whole time trying to change him. Stereotypical stuff. And be pissed he doesn't change when he says from the very beginning he's a certain way & won't change, then be surprised it's not all rainbows, orgasms, & sunshine. 

PRODUCER: I can't believe this is what women want. But whatever sells tickets! Let's give them their seat drenching flick! Hell, I'll throw in a bottle of Fabuloso. 

WRITER:  Let me tie you up & hear you say that with these panties in your mouth!

PRODUCER: Ooh! Are they dirty?

WRITER: Too far.

PRODUCER: Shut up, Writer. 

Man Dancing His Heart Out - great choreography & passionate performance

for video of the man dancing his heart out, CLICK BELOW:

 Sergei Polunin, "Take Me to Church" by Hozier, Directed by David LaChapelle

Maybe it's because I've heard the song - familiar with the words, know how long it goes, the sentiment it's trying to express...Maybe it's because the dancer is so talented...Maybe it's because...I don't know.

But good call, Jeanette. It did make me cry. I wonder who he thinks of when he performs this piece. That's what I always wonder. Who you think of when you hear different music. Ever notice people never talk about that - who a song reminds them of? Maybe it's too personal.

But that's one of the amazing things, to me - the emotion behind it. I know my emotion spills out when I practice - it's the best place for it. (And Jeanette, I will get around to recording that supremely-over-played-make-you-gag-you're-so-sick-of-hearing-people-play-such-a-cliche-piece for you [*cough* Beethoven], I promise. Soon. Double dog dared? Indeed.)

Movie review: Lucy

STAR STAR 1/2

The Pitch Review

SCARLETT: Hey, I've been wanting to be in my own solo kickass chick movie FOREVER. I want to do this one. 

DIRECTOR: Well it's like I said. This one is perfect. Cool premise, fun action. And it's all about you. I picture tying in all these flashes, quasi animated, quilted into the story to explain the...the story. Because it's a weird concept. 

SCARLETT: I can do weird. Like this (twitching).  If I used 100% of my brain that's what it'd look like. Twitchy.

WRITER: Yeah! You're so hot, it doesn't matter what you do.

DIRECTOR: Hm. Maybe you should alternate twitchy with sullen. And a little bitchy? 

SCARLETT: Fine. But I want my own car chase. 

WRITER: Absolutely. A one person car chase. I think I can throw that in. Yeah. That IS weird. I'll make it really long just for you. 

DIRECTOR: I guess we'll make that work...

SCARLETT: And I want Morgan Freeman in it. 

PRODUCER: Why wouldn't she use her brain power for something useful? Like making the whole world climax simultaneously?

MORGAN: Because she wouldn't be doing it by herself. 

SCARLETT: Shut up, Morgan. 

Movie Review: Following

STAR STAR STAR STAR 1/2

The Pitch Review

PRODUCER: Again, beautifully written, Chris. The timing, foreshadowing...such a brilliant, interesting piece of work. Black & white, did you say?

NOLAN: Reality. Yes, reality. Color will distract. Too much sound will distract - sound matters more than you know.  It's like this...intimate, seductive, personal, and with the fascinating weight of dark curiosity - curiosity gone somewhat amiss.

NOLAN: Peeking through the keyhole of obsession into the corners of the one's most embarrassed feelings...and then knocking the door down and ransacking the reality of acting on it. You know, don't you? Someone will know. God I hope she knows...

PRODUCER: Whatever you say, Chris. Let your genius loose on their asses. (I feel oddly compelled to listen to Depeche Mode...)
NOLAN: Shut up, Producer.

The Extra Fleetwood Mac Photos

Here are the other photos from the 2nd concert. 

Stevie telling the dog story

Lindsey :)

John 

Mick & Lindsey

Mick talking to us

Tada!

Smack up against the stage. Hey! The drums!!!

Lighting cheat sheet. Thanks for everything, Jarvis & Chris! Super neat stuff. 

Movie Review: Kingsman - The Secret Service

STAR STAR STAR STAR STAR

The Pitch Review

DIRECTOR: This is INSANE! It's unbelievably fantastic! 

PRODUCER: Oh man! Are you f&%*ing KIDDING me?! It's EVERYTHING I want in a movie! It's fresh, new, I love it! To be this good, we'll have to incorporate some big name product placement, though...

WRITER: F#%* it. I'll make it work. Let's own it. The audience can smell fear. We will own the brand loud & proud. Can I get an "Amen?"

Samuel: "Amen," brother! It's going to entertain the sh%# out if everyone. Man...intense. I mean, man, how the hell did you do that? That story is TIGHT!

COSTUME DESIGNER: Ooooh! Yeth! Thith ith fabulouth! I thee thuits, and plaid...

DIRECTOR: Seriously. Wait until you see where we take this. They're going to be completely blown away.

SAMUEL: (Costume guy, say that again.  Did you say "suits?" "Thuits!" I love this guy!) Colin, I had no idea you were so versatile! Action? Seriously? There's some SERIOUS action in this. Inappropriately gruesomely hysterical. Can you handle it?

COLIN: Samuel, my friend, of course. I intend to create a new breed of gentleman. This kid is unbelievable. It's going to be a new franchise. And with this clever writing, it's inevitable. 

DIRECTOR : Oh, there's gonna be crazy action like you've never seen. And we'll open with a BAM...end with a BAM, have the WHOLE THING JUST f%#%ing BAM! Yes!!! 

PRODUCER: Right, sustain it the whole time. That's key. It's going to be F#%#ING AWESOME! And yes, they'll totally care about the characters. Almost cry. But it's not that kind of movie.  Nice job with the story & script, dude. Impressive. 

SAMUEL: Let me try this..."Imprethive."

DIRECTOR: Hahaha! 

PRODUCER: Hahaha!

COLIN: HAHAHAHAHA!

COSTUME DESIGNER: Thut up, Thamuel.

50 Shades of Utter Stupidity

I watched the trailer for the actual "50 Shades of Gray" movie. 

I'll spare you, and give you the better version here:

Is it me? Or do these characters supremely annoy? LAME.  

I couldn't care less about them. Except that I want to just smack that stupid look off her face. 

See, even he can't take it.

"Hey, dumbass. You're an idiot. You have no soul, no spine, and nothing interesting to say, either."

- me to her

Eww. I'd never ever in a gazillion years "do" her.  So gross.  

And any idiot guy that's all over that is...oh whatever. What do I care? They can have each other. You know, maybe it's better that way. I cannot believe this is what stimulates so many women. Wait, maybe I'm the weird one? Hmmmm. Fine. I'll be weird, then. 

But if there's a guy out there that wants/likes/needs that, you suck. And not in the fun way. Yes. That way.

Yes, I need more sleep. Yes, I am grumpy. Apologies for the attitude. Thank you. :)

Fleetwood Mac Photo Review: Take 2

This time, I was given a "Working" Tour Pass. Could go anywhere I wanted. 

COOL. 

Of course, I wanted to be next to the stage. See their faces. Touch a guitar. Get shut-down by Stevie Nicks when I asked for an autograph (yelling "Stevie! Stevie!" Getting eye contact, and the slightest shake of her head "no, no way am I setting myself up for an autograph mob..." That's what I read, anyways. Still, Stevie Nicks shut me down! Ha!)

(Pointing at me!)

I love the real moments the best. 

An odd moment. Her face says it all. 

Hm. Interesting, no?

He just rocks. 

Lindsey loves what he does. You can feel it. It oozes out of his music. He was my favorite performer.