Movie Review: It Follows

(Unratable)*

The Pitch Review 

THE MOM: Honey, you can't carry this anger forever. It's not a demonic STD. You should do something productive with your anger. You're so talented, sweetheart. And so good at telling stories. You should create something to express yourself!

WRITER: Mom, seriously?! Pshhhh.  FINE. But it's gonna scare the shit out of them. I mean make them watch it with hands-over-their-eyes-covering-their-ears scary. 

And have them talking afterwards FOREVER trying to solve it. Because people want to solve puzzles and feel smart. Yeah, I can scare the f$*% out of them. There aren't enough f$&!ing Seinfelds out there to erase the scary from their imaginations...

THE MOM: Language, dear. 

WRITER: (under breath) Shut up, mom.

THE MOM: What did you say?

WRITER: I love you, mom. 

*out of my rating league

Attempt to see "It Follows": Take 2, people!

still chicken. 

but doing it.

right.

I promise.

(dammit)

(f$%#)

(shoot)

(okay)

(inhale)

...

...

...

(...)

(exhale)

Orrrrrrrrrrr......PROCRASTINATION!!!

HHAHAHAHAHA! 

OR, I can skip the movie and go get drunk with Ellie! I'll take option b. :)

This is "b". Bottle #2. Woohoo! Scary movie tomorrow? Yes. Tomorrow. Someone come with me!!!!!!!!!!

Scary Movie Dilemma: Don't know if I can do it...SUCH a chicken...

I'm trying to work up the nerve to go see "It Follows."

I don't know if I can see it alone*...

Grrrrrr!!!!! I mean "bok bok bok!"

*No, it does not count if you go see it in California at the same time. The important variable is proximity to your arm. So I can grab it when I tear my hands away from covering my face with my hands. Oh god. I don't know if I can do it...I'd rather...drop in on a huge wave. Or...

(drawing a blank!) 

sooooooo nervous...Okay...I can do this...

Breathe. 

It's just pretend...it's just pretend...it's just pretend...

ahhhhhh!!!!! nervousnervousnervousnervousnervousnervousnervousnervousnervousnervousnervousnervousnervousnervousnervousnervousnervousnervousnervousnervousnervousnervousnervousnervousnervousnervousnervousnervous...

Movie Review: Get Hard

STAR 1/2

The Pitch Review

KEVIN: Um, didn't Eddie Mirphy do this one already?

WILL: Yeah. "Trading Spaces," wasn't it?

DIRECTOR: It's not the same! It's different. Well, a more  modern take.

PRODUCER: and it's got you both in it, so it'll be funny! Come on...people will appreciate the gravity of some heavy social commentary in their movie. Racism, wealth disparity, light homosexuality; just some fun stuff. I think it's fun, anyways. 

KEVIN: I don't know, man. It's a little too...commentary-y.  I mean, are you sure we should open with such a downer mood? It picks up at the end, but shouldn't the first impression be more, I don't know, funny.

WILL: Yeah. Ha. Light homosexuality. Play on the title & all. That's almost funny. But we should beat it to death. Kill it dead. So it's not alive. Or breathing.  Well as long as it's gonna suck, why not throw in a dick for you to suck, Kevin?

KEVIN: Shut up, Will. 

Ha! My tombstone possibility...

I have no idea what my tombstone would say. On my run yesterday, this was what popped into my head and had me laughing wee wee wee wee...all the way home. Yes, just like that annoying little piggy in those stupid commercials. Hahaha! 

Can't wait to see your ideas, sister...(such a weird question!)

(But oh, come on...it's not that bad, is it?)

On my "To See" list...

Iris - Film by Abert Maysles

You can check the link for theaters playing it in your area. 

I just really, really love his work. What a beautiful man.

(Gosh I hope you get to see it so we can talk about it!)

*sigh

St Pats Race Finish Line! Hahaha!

Gotta finish with panache, but I suspect I run funny...hahahahahahaha!

Jeanette, this is the song that was stuck in my head...(of course I love ancient person music!)

Tour de Patrick race #3

Here we go! No time to edit...

Me & Ellie at final race start. :)

Movie review: Insurgent

STAR 1/2

The Pitch Review

DIRECTOR: [Yawning] okay...geez...why is there so much needless drama in this again?

PRODUCER: [yawning] Oh. Right. The drama...[yawning again] because our audience is predominantly teenage girls.

WRITER & DIRECTOR: (simultaneously) Hamster bladder! 

PRODUCER: Precisely. They won't miss too much when they get up in clans to drain the hamster bladders. Like a soap opera. Pauses and transitions kind of like that. You know, lame unnecessarily necessary drama. 

WRITER: Don't forget to film an awkward shirtless kissing scene. Not too much heat- throw it on even if the actors aren't comfortable with it. 

DIRECTOR: [yawning] sorry, dude, yawns are contagious...it's not the bad story, or painful editing potential, or strained acting we're in for...mostly...

WRITER: Shut up, Director. [yawning]

Poll results -so telling!

*

Not surprisingly, it was almost unanimous. 

99% of you need the kissing to, um, make the boom boom. That's not to say you're a hore if you don't enjoy kissing your boom boom partner. Well, maybe that's exactly what it's saying. Haha! "Hore." (You see, a "hore" doesn't get paid in cash or credit, even. It only goes to "w" when it becomes one's profession. That's a "whore." Unlike any of you. Or me.)

* why there was sugar on the paper when I smooched it, I have no idea. But "yummy" licking it off!

Movie Review: π

STAR STAR  STAR.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 ...
The Pitch Review

WRITER=DIRECTOR: It needs to sound like - a migraine. With pure sound, and light. I can absolutely do that. It's the music of genius. People need to see and hear the pain of genius and of obsession. Have you ever been obsessed? With anyone? Or anything? Just wanted to understand it inside and out? And you can't put it down? Well I hope you have. It's a very interesting part of life represented by π.

GULLETTE: Wow. It really is kind of genius. But then, any movie where someone shaves their head...

WRITER: It's not for that, Sean, it's part of the story. It's subtle. They should feel it viscerally - in the marrow of their brain. Part of the point is that when your mind gets obsessed with something, your mind will filter everything else out, and you will find it everywhere. Hm. I will use that...
GULLETTE: I don't think the brain has marrow, now that you mention it.

WRITER: Shut up, Gullette.

Sorry! Accidentally deleted: "Off-the-Record Poll for the ladies"

Apologies. Here. I put it back for a bit.

Conversation recap: The Intimacy is in the Kiss 

(And how many people do you really want to taste? Me? I can count it on one finger.)

Premise: “French Kiss” Movie Scene

https://youtu.be/_mNts8Qoms4?t=17m34s

(Please, control yourself, and only watch one minute [from 17:34-18:39])

Issue: Leading us to your Oh-So-Lovely_&_Charming, catchy ditty, Jeanette: "
No Keesing, Yes Boom Boom" (HA!)


https://youtu.be/sRcSpBvrkOI

Settling on the final Question: Does making zee boom boom without zee keesing work for you? Why/why not?
(email your response, por favor)

*Results are anonymous

Overhead today!

Working up the nerve to paddle out...

Happy Pi Day!

π article story

3/14/15 9:26pm 53seconds.

It's magic! 

And I love you. :)

Movie Review: Run All Night

STAR STAR STAR STAR STAR 

The Pitch Review

LIAM: Good lord, gentlemen. Well done, my friends. It's even better than "Taken." What's the vision?

WRITER: It's not quite about revenge, more like about ... Redemption. With a revenge back angle. It's balanced - every story has 2 sides minimum. That's honored in this story. 

DIRECTOR: So let's put this way, you'll feel New York City. As if it were its own character, even. 

Gritty, intense, raw. And wait until you see the transitions. They're going to be unbelievable and fantastic. Like the sound. And the characters. And the action sequences. Fabulous editing. And the story - they'll jump out of their seats, cry out, and beg for more. But we give it to them. Mark my words. 

LIAM: it's just GOOD. I could f*^|ing cry. 

PRODUCER: oh, it's that good. They'll cry.

LIAM: Don't you dare make me run. 

WRITER: okay, so, then how do you feel about limping?

LIAM: Shut up, writer. 

It's π week!

Not only is is my birthday week (god I sound so self-absorbed...hahaha..maybe I am...whatever!), but it's the week of (dum dum da DUM!)

That's right! On Saturday, it'll be 3/14/15.  Now, how cool is that?! I'm infinitely amused. 

And in the spirit of π (ooooh! That was fun to learn to key on the keyboard!),  I will truly contemplate all the π I can. Especially this kind:

With a cup of hot cup of coffee. First thing tomorrow morning.  Oh god, now I can't wait until morning...salivating...

So, who's with me? Come on...it'll be delicious*!

*Confession: Some people, however, are not allowed to say that word, though, because when they say it, it stirs up things that should be best left unstirred - totally unlike my coffee which needs to be stirred because I totally love some cream & sugar...see?! just thinking about them saying that word is making me ramble...don't think of kissing...shhhh imagination shhhhh...

Focus.**

** Oh! I'm putting your "yes boom boom, no kissing" song you wrote & sang for me next, Jeanette. HA.

Birthday surf session was FABULOUS!!!

My favorite surfboard EVER. 

Ya en las velas la luz

Solo anhelan decir

Que les cumples muchos anos

Muchos anos feliz!

(Clapping 4/4 time)

Que repartan el "cake"

Que repartan el "cake"

Que repartan el "cake"

Los helados tambien! 

HAHAHA! Race Photo finish...

Soooo, slow. But the pace I run is "Okay, this isn't so bad, I don't hate it...yet..." mph. Up to 1/2 hour. :)

Yay, finish line!!! (hahahahaha!)

Tour De Patrick race #2

Yay! Feels better to finish the second time!

Me & Ellie again:

Tour De Patrick race#1

Here we go! Fun race!

Me & Ellie:

James Hubbell birthday card...awwwwww

Hey, sister! Here's the birthday card Mama got me. Awwww...made me cry. She inspires me so much! 

I love his use of color. Mom knew I would!

I get choked up every time I read it...

{But "Absolutely no tears in court, or you're fired!" (to quote my new boss.) (?!?!?!?!? I know!!!)}

Movie Review: Chappie

STAR STAR STAR 3/4

The Pitch Review

WRITER: Well? What?

DIRECTOR: it's a good idea. I like how you sugar-coat it. It's kind of inspiring. The story makes me feel like I reached into a bowl of m&m's and shoved the whole handful in my mouth. You know? It's violently sweet. But every 1 out of 10 will actually be a piece of chocolate-covered shit. 

WRITER: Oh, thank god. You get it! 

DIRECTOR: Of course I do. It's weird. And they'll be uncomfortable for most of it. I mean, anthropomorphism of a robot in an adult-size frame with a small child's mind, framed in a culture of cruelty? 

Clever. People won't know how to react. I can just imagine the internal struggles they'll...um, struggle with. Hell, yeah!

PRODUCER:  I can see tons of Comicon costume potential out of this! 

Let's go over the top bizarre. We should do something about the pacing of the story, though. As it is, they'll probably like it the more they think about it. But right away? Maybe. 

DIRECTOR: Yes! A thinker commentary on parenting. 

But Pacing? Why? We've got Wolverine!!! As the bad guy! Who doesn't hate a guy with a mullet? Makes it so much easier to dislike the handsome bastard...

HUGH: let's go to 11%. On the candy ratio. 

WRITER: Shut up, Hugh. 

Movie Review: Focus

STAR STAR STA...

The Pitch Review

WILL: Aw, man. Yeah. I totally dig this story. It's like a thinly veiled romantic comedy. With some flavor. And cast someone hot, but I don't want too much chemistry between us. More like "friends." 

WRITER:  Exactly! 

WILL: How are you gonna film it? Style wise?

DIRECTOR: I'm thinking it'll be perfect to st-

WILL: (interrupting) We should make it like Candy Land. Lots if eye candy. A high degree of sweetness. But it has to be funny. 

WRITER: Oh, there's lots of funny parts. And predictable plot twists to keep them guessing if they're guessing that they're over guessing themselves. Maybe not sustained the while time, but if we can g-

WILL: (interrupting) give it away at the beginning? That's a good idea. Reduces the tension and makes it more palatable to the movie-going light-weights. 

MARGOT: Yeah. That's totally your audience, Will! (Punching Will on shoulder)

WILL: Shut up, Margot.