The Pitch Review
PRODUCER: Basically, it's like if 9 1/2 Weeks and Pretty Woman had a baby, this would be it. Not too ambitious, no, I don't think so. They're already vested! They've read the book -
DIRECTOR: Actually, it's three books -
PRODUCER: Whatever. Even more so, then. We want the theater so full of women that they'll need a full crew working overtime to mop up the snail trail leaving the theater.
WRITER: So if they've all read the book, I won't have to work that hard!
DIRECTOR: Nope! Keep it simple. The characters will have to be comfortable with each other. In a kinky way. With some semi-hot sex scenes. But with her naked most of the time. Who cares if all of the delivery is flat, lifeless, and monotone?
PRODUCER: True. Well, it's really just a movie about foreplay. THAT'S why women will like it.
Well, that, and they all probably have SOMEONE in their lives they'd like to do those scenes with...(I know I do!)
DIRECTOR: So lots of nudity. I like it!
WRITER: I'm just gonna have the female nag and nag at him, and spend the whole time trying to change him. Stereotypical stuff. And be pissed he doesn't change when he says from the very beginning he's a certain way & won't change, then be surprised it's not all rainbows, orgasms, & sunshine.
PRODUCER: I can't believe this is what women want. But whatever sells tickets! Let's give them their seat drenching flick! Hell, I'll throw in a bottle of Fabuloso.
WRITER: Let me tie you up & hear you say that with these panties in your mouth!
PRODUCER: Ooh! Are they dirty?
WRITER: Too far.
PRODUCER: Shut up, Writer.
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