Saturday, January 24, 2015

Movie Review: Wild



STAR STAR STAR STAR 1/2


The Pitch Review



PRODUCERS: Are you sure? She's not very likable. Relatable? Probably. Likable? I don't know...
REESE: No, she's not the most likable person. But she doesn't give up. And the journey is about figuring out why she won't give up. Nudity won't be an issue for me either.
DIRECTOR: Good, because it won't read unless you bear it all, girl.
REESE: Don't be a jerk about it. Feminism matters, you know.

PRODUCER: Of course it does, Reese. We can do this however you like.
REESE: Oh, I know. We'll come out of this with respect for women. Guys fail the hike, you know...but this woman - we'll show a strong woman emotionally clawing her way out of the pits of her hell. You'll eat it up. They'll eat it up.

DIRECTOR: Of course we will, Reese.
PRODUCER: Why doesn't she have a phone with her? A cel phone, I mean? Wouldn't she want to Instagram some pictures?
REESE: What?! A cel phone? Are you crazy?! First of all, there'd be no reception on that hike. Secondly, that would defeat the point of the self-discovery journey. It's a one-woman hike through Mordor, if you will. People will drag their friends to see it. And then that friend will hate the friend who brought them for making them cry for two hours, and then love them again but not until the very end. Uplifting in a back-handed slap kind of way.

DIRECTOR: Kind of like water-boarding. We won't really drown them in their feelings, just make them feel like they'll never get back up. And then let them breathe at the very, very end. Make them think. A lot. Especially after they leave the theater.
PRODUCER: So, really? No phone? Not even if they have Verizon?
REESE: Shut up, Producer.


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