Movie Review: I, Frankenstein

STAR STAR STAR

The Pitch Review

PRODUCER: No way, man! We've got to do it. It's such a cool graphic novel! Gargoyles?! And Frankenstein?! Heck, yeah! And I have a ton of buddies who are all over the CGI.  They'll dominate. Totally. It'll be tighter than a drum!

DIRECTOR: That's what I was saying! After all, birds of a feather, flock together. But you know what would make it fun?
PRODUCERS: Hm. I'd say a game would make it fun. But dude, you can't squeeze blood out of a turnip...
DIRECTOR: Exactly. A game. We can go the extra mile, and - shhhh - make it a drinking game for the older fans.
PRODUCERS: What older fans? You're not gonna step on people's toes, are you?
DIRECTOR: No! Not to rock the boat, but the 25 year olds. Or people who loved Buffy The Vampire Slayer.

PRODUCERS: Dude, I love Buffy. Man, am I that old? So the game. Let's take the bull by the horns and call this "Cliche 101." They can drink when they hear a cliche! Ha! They'll be smashed by the end if they movie...
DIRECTOR: Yes! Easy as pie! And we'll learn them some while we're at it. No skin off my back.
PRODUCERS: Awesome CGI, awesome actions sequences, shallow characters & plot, our Hollywood-fit as a fiddle actors, and we're golden. Throw money at it will you? Go for broke.

WRITER: Shut up, Producers.