Movie Review: Mortdecai

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The Pitch Review

(all discussed in a British accent)
JOHNNY: It's time.
EWAN: Yes, I completely agree. There's enough dramas out there to fill a baby bottle.
DIRECTOR: Fill a baby bottle? With what?
JOHNNY: With tears. We need tears of laughter, not tears of sadness! This, my old friends, will do the trick.  It's time to resurrect the comedic brilliance of Peter Sellers. "Pink Panther," meets "Austin Powers," meets ME. Hilarious.

GWYNETH: I really do like it! So classy. Simply fun. I love how they're all so filthy rich! Is it me, or does that provide more opportunity to make it, well, better? And a little bit sexy, but not too sexy (I don't want to have to sell brazen hussy sexy, it's not my forte, but still, it's so...cheeky!

JOHNNY: Precisely.  And the characters are so distinctly...memorable. And they're so rich it's not "odd," it's "eccentric." You know how I like it, darling, don't you?
GWYNETH: Indeed I do!
PAUL: If nothing else we'll have immense fun making it.

JOHNNY: I completely agree. This is an opportunity that should not be missed! We shall resurrect the slapstick genius of that seemingly forgotten genre of film - but in a classy, way. Not crass & rude like Seth Rogen's work (which is quite amusing, but so unrefined).  I'm thinking sequels...(I adore sequels, you know).

PRODUCER: We have the perfect team to tie the story together - editing, music, a fun scene transition technique...okay! It'll be charming!
GWYNETH: Now, about the kissing, we won't be too smoochy, will we, darlings? You know how I feel about the smooching...And let's make fun of Americans a bit, shall we?!
JOHNNY: Shut up, Gwyneth. But yes, lets.