Movie Review: Enemy (2014)

STAR STAR 1/2

The Pitch Review 

PRODUCER: I have the perfect guy for the music. We met at a Jaws & Jerry convention.
DIRECTOR: [flat & monotone] Jaws & Jerry?

WRITER: You know, "dah dum...dah dum..." And Tom & Jerry. The cartoon. But this script, it's not supposed to be funny. It's supposed to be very serious. And dramatic. About loneliness and the search for intimacy.

DIRECTOR: Okay, then, let's wash out all the color to make it kind of depressing and heavy.

PRODUCER: We should do the whole movie in beige.

DIRECTOR: Perfect. Beige. I want to make the most "beige" movie of all time.
JAKE: Right! But we can't rely on "me" the whole time. I mean, I'm good and all, but something has to happen in this movie other than "beige" and overly-dramatic misplaced music.

PRODUCER: Like what? Eggshell white? Go crazy & throw in gray? 

An odd, abrupt ending?
DIRECTOR: Shut up, Jake.
JAKE: I didn't say it. You shut up.