Movie Review: John Wick

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The Pitch Review: John Wick

PRODUCER: What the f*** is this?
WRITER: It's a bad-ass action flick, dude!
PRODUCER: No. This is a piece of sh**! You're high.
WRITER: No, man! Picture it. Keanu plays the lead, and with his mad kung fu skills, he kicks ASS.
DIRECTOR: We'll need a lot of action. Good action. And lots of blood. I mean gun shots to the head. Bam Bam Bam. Over and over and over.

KEANU: there's no story here. It's shallow. No one will care. It's stupid.
WRITER: But picture crazy awesome fight scenes with Keanu! He'll totally rock it! And fine. I'll add some sh** to make the character sympathetic. 

KEANU: Yeah I can totally rock it. As long as I don't get paid by the line. Because I almost have no lines.
WRITER: That's the point, man. It's all about..."action"...

PRODUCER: And we'll cast Willem Defoe for some gravity. And some hot chicks.
DIRECTOR: I'll use interesting lighting, odd fonts for oddly placed subtitles, to mix it up a bit. Like a really cool-kid pulp action flick. 
KEANU: But the story sucks.
WRITER: Shut up, Keanu.