Sunday, May 15, 2016

Movie Review: Captain America - CIVIL WAR

STAR STAR STAR STAR 1/4

The Pitch Review: Captain America - CIVIL WAR


WRITERS: Well??? What do you think?!
PRODUCERS: "Too many notes." Quite long, don't you think?

DIRECTOR: It's as long as it needs to be!
WRITERS: Hey, we'll have tons of stories & subplots.

PRODUCERS: Yeah! If we give all the characters tons of screen time, then if they have a bad day, there'll be enough going on to distract the audience and make them forget about the parts that are, um, less clear!
DIRECTOR: And I want to see HUGE font throughout the film. Hear me? HUGE font. Do it.
CHRIS EVANS: Do I get enough screen time flexing?
PAUL BETTANY: I like how no one's left out. Ok. Maybe one or two too many notes...
SPIDERMAN: It's not too many notes! It's AWESOME! It's PERFECT! I LOVE it!
PRODUCERS: Shut up, Spiderman.

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