Movie Review: Man of Tai Chi

STAR STAR STAR 1/2

The Pitch Review

DIRECTOR/KEANU: I'm directing a movie. Dammit.
WRITER: About what? Like the Matrix?

KEANU: What? No, dude. Better. I will slap them in the face with the awesomeness of tai chi.

WRITER: Slap them like this? Or just awesome kung fu?

KEANU: No, dammit. Like this,

and definitely all about the tai chi in it. In fact, let's call it "Tai Chi," man.

WRITER: I like "Man of Tai Chi." Slap me up, biatch.
PRODUCER: But does it have enough tai chi in it? Come on. Say "tai chi" one more time.
KEANU: Shut up, Producer.